I had a different post planned for today.
It's a cute, feel good one about dancing with my kids. You would have loved it, and maybe I'll post it in the next couple of days so you'll get to read it. I just have other things to write about, that feel like they can't wait.
This isn't going to be as fun as my favorite things, or as mundane as what I am or am not eating. I have hard things I've been thinking about, and it just needs to come out.
The world is on fire. It is taut with hate, anger, violence, illness, destruction, and all kind of things that shatter my comfortable and happy world. I have a hard time finding a place that doesn't seem overrun with strife.
I'd like to just chalk it up to too much media coverage, and believe that things are not as bad as they seem, but I would only be kidding myself. There is a battle going on. Evil seems to be criss-crossing around the globe.
I've been reading "No Ordinary Time" by Doris Kearns Goodwin. It is a book that tells the story of Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt's partnership in mobilizing the home front during World War II. I was interested in reading this book because of my Grandma Fran. She was an actual "Rosie the Riveter." During World War II, while her husband was fighting in Europe, she was riveting airplane wings. I loved hearing how her life and world were transformed. It was both an awful time for her, and yet there were things about it that were really good, things I have envied.
I know that she lived fearing for her husband, and others that she loved. There was evil criss-crossing the globe and coming ever closer, she must have been scared. I know that there were both true hardships and minor inconveniences that she dealt with everyday. She had to be brave, and use her ingenuity to learn to do things differently and to find her way. These burdens all could be heavy at times.
It was also a time when she came into her own. Here she was, with new skills, being valued and really contributing in a way that changed the world. She was part of a real community both in Detroit where she was working, and in the greater group of Allies. She was there on the home front, but she was making a difference in her own way that echoed around the world. At every turn she was reminded that she was part of the team, and what she did really mattered.
I have been feeling a restless aching for the past few years. I have a nice comfortable life full of good things. I don't want to sound ungrateful at all, because I have been given blessing upon blessing and I am so grateful. I just can't shake the whisper that asks me if this is all there is. Is a life full of nice, comfortable, and benign what I should be aiming for? It seems like it is the American Dream, and yet if I'm honest, there is some emptiness too.
I long to feel like I contribute. I long to feel like what I do really matters. I long for a home front effort that I can be a part of, We would band together to say that evil should be stopped. To say that we will support one another even in our fear, and we will live as a real community. I want the people around me to be brave, and learn new skills; to live a life of sacrifice for a greater cause and to really come into their own. I want that for myself too.
So back to our current world. There is a battle going on, and I can't believe that it is only geopolitical. It is too evil, it is too rampant, it is too widespread. I think that this is a spiritual battle. I see it in the stories of people being crucified. It's there in students being killed or kidnapped and sold into slavery just because they are Christians. You can't miss it when you read about systematic rape of girls as young as 8 in Iraq and the sale of young children as slaves. It's there at every turn and it is out roaming unabashedly.
I'm left wondering what do we do here the home front? The frontline of this battle seem so far away. How do we even get into the fight? How do we contribute? How do we say that we won't let evil criss-cross our world without putting up a fight? I'm just a regular girl, how could I make a stand? Is this even my place? Is this something I can ignore?
Again and again we see examples where God uses the weakest, because then we all know it was really Him. Maybe we don't need to be strong or powerful, because He is. Not by might or by power but by my Spirit . Some trust in chariots and some in horses but we trust in the name of the Lord.
Is it time for us to contribute, and do things that really matter? Do we need to be people who say that Evil can't run rampant on our watch? We would need to support one another when the darkness is just too much. It could change our whole lives. We would need to be brave, and learn new things, we need to put all our ingenuity to work, and most of all we need to do it together.
The whisper of an answer is faith and prayer are first.