I am trying to be intentional to make my Study the Bible not only an attempt to build my head knowledge but also to deepen my relationship with God, my love and appreciation for Jesus Christ, and to cause a transformation in my life. The glue that sticks all these things together is prayer. Below are the things I am praying about so I can be mindful to continue to pray and to look for how God answers these prayers. I also wanted to be transparent in this aspect in case it can be helpful for anyone with the same desire for growth.
Lord, you know that I really like to take on a project but often fizzle out and loose interest before I complete it. I really want my study of the Bible and especially my study of Leviticus to be more than just a project. My desire is to know You and love you more deeply. As I work to study Leviticus, would you please reveal Yourself to me? Would you teach me about holiness, about what pleases you, about how you like to be worshiped, and what sacrifice really looks like?
God, before I even start to learn more about Leviticus and the law that you gave your people in Torah, I need to confess to you things that I am afraid will stand in my way. There are parts of me that think that this book doesn't really have anything to do with Christians today. It seems like a bunch of rules some of which we still hold onto, and others that I don't really understand the purpose of and seem obsolete. Please forgive me.
I also need to confess that as a 21st century woman, I have kind of a bad attitude about the way that women have been treated. Forgive me, please. I don't understand things like why a woman is unclean for longer if she has had a daughter than if she has had a son, or why you would design a woman's body to menstruate and make her unclean every month. Please change my heart to be open to what you reveal as I learn more about the law. My hope is that I will see how you deeply love me.
I am afraid of the hard work that it will take to understand more. I have felt an interest in knowing more about Leviticus and what it teaches about You and about Jesus Christ for more than a year. I bought the books that were recommended. I've even mentioned it to my husband. I haven't taken action yet though. I have dragged my feet and allowed myself to feel overwhelmed. Forgive me. Help me to be obedient.
Father, it is so easy for me to jump ahead and to just look for the answers instead of trusting that the process of learning is more important than the lessons gained.
Please help my study be more about an ongoing relationship with You, and a journey together than just my quest for more knowledge. Help me to not jump too quickly to books where the research is already complete but instead to fall in love with the process of discovery.
You know that pride is such a sticky trap. Please make me aware of my own pride and where I am making this about me instead of You, or where knowledge could get in the way of relationship. I am also aware that I am doing this in a public domain. Please keep me humble. I want to be just as passionate about learning more about you whether nobody is watching or others follow along. Let this always be about You.
Please be near when I feel discouraged, or stuck. I know these times will come and that often amazing growth happens in these quiet times.